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asdfadsfDave Bad DoctorObtained from Kids in the hallway FAQDave Wanna subsist something? Im a bad doctor. Im not boasting. I mean, who would? Just stating a fact that Ive never really gotten the hang of the whole healing-the-sick thing. And dont interpret this as some sort of false modesty, please its not, its not like Im weak in some areas. No, Im homogeneously unqualified to radiation pattern medicine in any capacity. I *really* dont wear a clue. And no one could be more shocked than me that Ive been allowed to rise to a position of such importance and responsibility. I guess it all started in high school where I was a very bad intuition student. One day when we were supposed to be dissecting a frog, I by chance disassembled my desk. Oh, barely, you know, I was a popular kid. You know, the otherwise students were always eager to serve me out. So you know, during a test whenever Id get that *confused* look on my face - which was invariably - well, the cheat notes would f airish start flying even the teachers would start whispering answers, you know, *ahem* mitochondria... But I didnt worry about it. I figured, how far could you coast on charm? Well, pretty far, actually They just offered me the job of Chief of Surgery. Apparently, Ive logged more hours in surgery than any other man my age. Four thousand hours this year alone. What no one seems to have noticed that it was all with the same patient. Oh I wanna show. Oh, I extremity to show you something. You know what this is? Urine. Another mans urine, aonther mans urine. I film for it, and they give it to me I dont know what to do with it Ive got a fridge bounteous of this stuff. I mean, I suppose I could send it out to the lab, but theyd only send back a lot of test results that I couldnt possibly understand. The only thing Im actually sorta good at is referrals. You know that thing where doctors send patients to other doctors. Well, Im the king of referrals. What I do is I call the, uh, the sic k person into my office, and I stare for a languish time really seriously at this blank sheet of paper.